Monday, January 26, 2009

drawn a blank

Monday, January 26, 2009
there be a difference
between
forgotten and "yet to forget"
..........and the differnce is..........
the latter is actually an optimistic way
to describe "cannot be forgotten"
...and the bitter truth is....
tis optimism is
an extremely complicated form of hypocrisy
which has prevailed long
but
..was never right..

.........a brother's testimony

from the days i have opened my eyes to this world,i have found you around me.
you were always there,whether it was studying under the same lantern in those days of 90s or whether it was playing cricket on our rooftop;collecting
feathers for my nature album for the summer project,or learning algebra and trigonometry from dadu(when i was not even admitted to school);plucking
flowers from the khemka villa or collecting green mangoes from the mango garden on the way to school, whether it was fighting brutally for small
scraps(and later on getting spanked by our parents)or indulging me in every mischievous activities we did. . .you have always been the driving force of my
life.


there are infinite instances when i got you into trouble;do you remember the incident in 3rd standard when i had confessed to thomaskutty sir that i had
written in your handwriting copy instead of you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .nostalgic na,very nostalgic!!!


you were much more ambitious and creative than i ever was,and adamant as well.
our very own pc at home was a result of that.
you were very different from me,maybe thats why we complement each other in a perfect manner.


now that we are at different places realizing our goals........i wish you all the best in your life.
i hope that the relationship between us doesnt change despite of whatever we become in future.
remember that you come first for me amongst everything else!!!so dont dare to give my place to anyone else. . . . . . .thats it!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sometimes for no Reason.....

Sunday, January 25, 2009
"Nature never allows sharp turns...” was the voice from the prof; which struck my ears
and dragged me out of my own urbane wonderland where I deliberately reside tired of the
monotony which the real world provides.

Almost in the post-awakened situation, I actually did undergo a sharp turn you see, "from
steadiness of peace to extreme shrillness of the gossips all around in the vicinity" ; gossips those arising from queries of missed out words of the prof's litany, gossips those from last night Prison-break episode and gossips of the assassinations done in the weekend counter-strike session of the most sophisticated and ahead of time weapons.
Oh yes! There were some intellectual discussions too, let me not call them gossips as
the real world acclaims these talks vicariously........and they were the talks from the
early morning newspaper headlines mostly converged to the new superhero, the world was about to accept , "the US president-elect Barack Obama".

The moment I had come out of my world, something was troubling me. I wasn’t pretty sure if the prof-eyes were actually targeting me and I had no cue how to deviate his attention from mine when ultimately I realised that he had caught hold of Vastav, who was endlessly scribbling something in his notebook. The interesting thing was that he was seated immediate ahead of me.

Out of curiosity, rather sarcasm; all of a sudden, upsetting once again the law of nature concerning sharp turns, the class followed a dead silence ending up all intellectual and non-intellectual talks and then a sharp undivided attention was focused on a small area intensifying the situation, and emphasizing the saying that “one is a defaulter only when caught”

The scene to follow was
prof.: so young man, what are you up with? I am sure you aren’t here. Right??
Vastav: sir, actually I was.
prof.: Then probably you would be up with the answer to the question we just ended with, why don't you show me your notebook.

And off course his notebook had no real answers but some very different and amazing combination of alphabets and numbers written together in some very unusual manner.

prof.: where's your calculator?
Vastav: I don’t have one sir, I actually don’t use one.
prof.: So, how are u gonna write the exact answer, I guess you will end up in trigonometric notation possibly losing some marks simply..
Vastav : No sir, give me a minute. The answer is.....

and then what followed was silence within the pre-existing silence, even the hammer strokes from the construction site atleast a few hundred meters could be heard. Alas the answer was correct upto a few digits even after the decimal......
No one was at ease. It was not something regular.
Incidences like this from the real world have kept happening and have been liked as stories but never been allowed being general as what we tend to follow are rules.
The rule "nature never allows sharp turns..".
The question is, "IS IT??"
And the answer is "nature allows all sort of turns actually, but we don’t like sharp turns."
Actually the process of randomness affects our comfortable pre-occupied and established civilized thinking.

Whole night I was boggled with thoughts............afterall what's the reason a badly disturbed person on his way back gets so joyed watching kids at games of twilight.
A simple process of sunrise being poetically made a whole new package by every different poet, the waves breaking at the shore, gushing and noisy but whose noise satiates peace and rest in the soul. The existence of most truthful smiles on the
neediest faces.
The extreme love found in someone, you can’t sometimes define within relations.......SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON.....that's actually the
nature what we keep underestimating; trying to grab it within our liked laws stealthily.

On the other hand the truth actually galores with a huge amount of entropy. Appearing arbitrary to some cannot be ended unrecognised all the time.
The nation deserves betters which refrain travelling the travelled paths, agents of difference, alterers of obsessions.
Randomness of chaotic brains shouldn’t die out in the monotonous run, rather be
carefully observed and sieved.

Early in the morning the other day.........I was still thinking "why do people have to be different from others all the time? Why laws of some have to be followed by all? Why luck has to be a thing? Why the hell we have a word destiny?

God the hell inside me was inflaming at its worst and i really could take no more.......Why? why? why?...a bang on the desk.....and the stuffs scattered in every possible way all around.

Tranquility prevailed.......but i was in the eyes of vicinity

Honestly speaking; if someone asks me what your hobbies are, I know what a tough time we'll have when I begin explicating the sentence, "to unearth my undulating elegant world where the nature actually allows anything...."