to eVerYoNe

its an occasion.

this world without reason is celebrating a Century of visits today.
and on this very day, with some ten so called posts

the blog suddenly went so cool.

A list of acknowledgments all in a go.....
to my friend Paul (http://garbageidea.wordpress.com/) for endowing it with the present look along with the additional attribute, in inspiration to the Google Blackle (http://www.blackle.com/) "the energy saving search".
Almost every fascinating feature on the blog belongs to net-pro-paul

to
my avid critic Phoenix,
my intimate readers and friends out there in the comment section..
to the silent readers from Cu Kiit and Bhu

to the message the world is about to realise...
"that nothing ever happens for some reason whatsoever...it Just happens"

aNd

to the diffidently but accepted and the only truthful existence of - "ChaoS"

"its a toast"

it happened...
and its still happening

hail the world where we seek no reasons

The e-mail story

may Humour prevail.......

Last few days i was really kind of pre-occupied with something i consider my
life worth doing; and wow what a quality time i had reviewing the works of the
greatest of all scientists Dr.Sir C.V.Raman;
precise to some few areas in spectroscopy involved with whole new tribe of
materials known as Smart Materials.

Meeting people from different parts of country, oh yes! a few outsiders too ,
Increasing the numbers on my gtalk,orkut and facebook list........
chatTing unprofessionally and ofcourse professionally most of those times.

In my job one fine day I was asked to collect some information from random
google search [which you know isn't so easy unless you have a friend like the
one i have.....the Net-Pro-Paul.(meet him on http://garbageidea.wordpress.com/)]


And since i had no good reasons straining my eyes 'doing my job myself'
i decided to mail some people at the Raman Research Institute(rri)

...and heck; i had a sequence of emails in this process and those days involved
within forming itself into a story;so well in itself........ that i thought
i should bring it before you...

let me share the raw fun............i ain't editing nothing!!
(okay...okay...i'will bold out the fun lines considering your sense of humour)


1st mail : story begins
_______________________

from binnygoswami@gmail.com
to alpana@rri.res.in,antara@rri.res.in,
archana@rri.res.in,deepak@rri.res.in,chandra@rri.res.in
date Fri, Jun 5, 2009 at 12:07 AM
subject hi
mailed-by gmail.com

hi,
i am presently working as a summer intern at IISER-kolkata, studying
and reviewing RAMAN spectroscopy.
could you please help me with a list of liquid and/or gas
samples(atleast 20) which come out to give best details for the basic
experiment of RAMAN spectroscopy in which a monochromatic light is
passed thru the sample (i need to know) and then the spectrum being
studied in spectrometer.
regards.
__________________________

"meanwhile my fellow engineer friend, Paul was online and i just told him
the same.i swear in that particular moment he was like "what??...spectro
...why the hell are you up with it!"(he made sense as we are into mechanical
engineering.....)"

but

then in the next 2 minutes to go,he also came up with some three or four
pdf files with a hell large collection of the matter i was exactly concerned.

"there's something very special in you if your destiny has assigned you
into engineering

i'll tell you what!!.....just go till the end.
___________________________

2 days after....

from deepak@rri.res.in
to binnygoswami@gmail.com
date Sun, Jun 7, 2009 at 1:20 PM
subject Re: hi
mailed-by rri.res.in

Hi Friend,
Actually, I don't work in Raman Spectroscopy at all. But I can
tell u e-mail ID of some person to whom u can contact.
suchandsandeep@gmail.com

Deepak
___________________________


some 9 hrs later....

from binnygoswami@gmail.com
to deepak@rri.res.in
date Sun, Jun 7, 2009 at 10:17 PM
subject Re: hi
mailed-by gmail.com


heyy........
thanks a lot deepak.
______________________________


in some quick 3 minutes thereafter......

from binnygoswami@gmail.com
to suchandsandeep@gmail.com
date Sun, Jun 7, 2009 at 10:20 PM
subject hi
mailed-by gmail.com
hi,
i am presently working as a summer intern at IISER-kolkata, studying
and reviewing RAMAN spectroscopy.
could you please help me with a list of liquid and/or gas
samples(atleast 20) which come out to give best details for the basic
experiment of RAMAN spectroscopy in which a monochromatic light is
passed thru the sample (i need to know) and then the spectrum being
studied in spectrometer.
regards.
_________________________________


3 days after....
(and all the fun lies here in this mail.......just attend the lines i
did make it quite noticable.....)

from suchandsandeep@gmail.com
to binnygoswami@gmail.com
date Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 11:16 PM
subject Re: hi
mailed-by gmail.com
Hi Friend,

We are not really working on Raman spectroscopy at the Raman Research
Institute (what an irony!).
You can probably contact some of the
students of Prof. A.K.Sood at IISc who routinely work on Raman
spectroscopy. If you are looking for SERS, then you can contact
students of Prof. Chandrabhas at JNCASR.
Off hand, most of the organic solvents show characteristic Raman
lines, like Acetone, Ethanol, methanol, benzene, etc etc. Water, CS2
etc are other inorganic solvents wuth known Raman lines.

On the gas side, most of the diatomic molecules like h2, N2 etc
have known Raman lines.

Best Regards,
Sandeep.


the irony part....fancy that
______________________________________________


amongst all these mails the one liner; that irony from sandeep made me
laugh a bit on how things can be like; i mean you search out something somewhere and find it lying with someone else...and yes luckily no one's to be blamed...as no one is wrong.....

this post isn't an offense to any of the person involved above......please don't
misinterpret me.it does actually intends to bring out the fact how humorous a person
can still be remaining in such quality ranks busy doing such quality works all time and how things can line up forming a story which you always like to share with your pals......i mean having the whole bunch of answer on first go and even then keep searching for it expecting more and more fun to evolve.......and you never go unhappy.

Again what i'm up with these destiny assigned engineers comes like...

They really can provide you with the most required info in some quickest
valuble minutes.......no matter if he knows even a shit about it or not....
or rather and practically there's nothing an engineer doesn't know
"devoted to net-pro-paul"

Then no matter what's the field; an engineer can still do spectroscopy.....and yes form stories of emails

And yes we make you laugh.........of nothing u see.....isn't it!!
"u must be laughing either 'at the oneliner' or 'at yourself for reading these many
mails just for the same oneliner'......ha ha ha ha!!

the law of engineering says,
"if you don't know it...confuse the one who dared asked you"

don't know.........is that even a word??
naaaaah




coming up soon : the Passport story

sLeeP-tAlkS.........and those before

Corporate-India was what we were up with; the first day of our pre-placement training classes..........and the man on stage in his sissy gayish english accent.....ho-huming the crap out of us; like as expected as it could be --- "ordinary people prophesying out what they could recognise as smartness"...........and heckk those aurora of unwantedness luckily vanishes out as such people get off stage.
but this time.........

"heyy guys! tell me how do you describe yourself in one word?"
(all of a sudden he popped this to the inactive crowd....maybe just to enhance interaction)

and all i could think was.............."do hell man! not for a duration of some 60 seconds even; can a person be described.............. and then.......what???..... 'in a word!!!!'.....................should we lie now?"

some hundreds of answers came out ironically of the audience anyhow------- confident, leader, honest , friendly, determined, focussed...........and blah blah blah (u can never get smart if engineers are around)...........but myself seated at some really back bench; and all i could sense was that i was slowly falling short of all those one-BiG-words.......
i really didn't wanna cause any mark of disgrace to the fact i just mentioned .......
..........i wanted to outsmart in every possible way and neither could i disregard my perceptions.......
so what came out of me was simply awesome.......maybe it sounds obsessive.....but ya it was awesome
and i didn't say one-BiggiE
rather i said ........... "diFferEnt"...... everyday
outsmarted....(we are good at this)

but hell............this shook me badly thereafter.
why did i fall short of words afterall
why did the question had no answer from me........
why was i confused........
why didn't i know myself?
and is it happening only to me?


nights after night had gone........but no; i didn't forget that question.
and now like no other time but hell whenever the myself spoke to me.....it questioned
just questioned
....and i sleep-wrote (this is a disclosure.......answer to the question when do i write) them somehow
and all i could collect were some more real questions
convergent again and again.......and again
to the simple OnE-thing


Who aM i?
why do i exist?
why am i bewildered all those times when it comes to me?

Am i the only one arguing myself , sleep-writing?
Or am i The Adam daring a hope---

"that i may not be an exception"
and..
you might be my tribe!!
and you might be daunted
just daunted!

am i fake?
displaying this syndrome..
or are you unaware..
of me
and those many; like me...suffering
just suffering.

am i practically existing?
or just a person in dream
most of whose thoughts are lost
the moment he tries hardcopying
just hardcopying.

am i proud of my uniqueness?
or a result of dissatisfaction
or a clueless youngster
just clueless.

am i seeking an answer?
or is it unworthy, just.......unwanted
or am i........assailable
still assailable.

am i one of you?
or do i need.....being pitied
just pitied.


Or

am i about to be the one?
an institution...
of change,
the unseen,
the unimagined,
reding the rest...

bORn
yet not tabooed
just tabooed


"ALL i wish is that i were an automated mechanism producing stuffs on paper while i could recline and sleep-think
just......
yes just sleep-think"

to all those moments of togetherness.....A toasT!

i don't know if you remember this but the first time i met the 'real you" was in the lab.....we both being the unluckiest twos among a big class of say eighty.............doing our experiments all alone; while others being in groups............i remember that as all times i had no observations in hand even after a big half hour..........and i looked at you......when u were scribbling on the notebook with atleast 2 or 3.
i simply asked you...............and you dared helped........when we were strictly prohibited from uttering a word or else a F-grade...............u see that meant really bad

All those remaining days of the semesters............we two always together..........everytime we being asked the least count...................and heck everytime nomatter what.....we both said the wrong answers...........i still don't know why we couldnt divide 1 and 100 successfully for 3 long consecutive weeks..........u see.
thats the similarity....we were the un and dou with consistent A .........uff the grade thing.

That first event of kritansh and i came to you the night before..........at around 12:30 a.m; clueless ;I swear to god i didn't have the slightest idea what the event was about......but i knew that together we will have fun.......and together we decided.......made it three and then the fantastic 4s.......were the disasters on the big screen next day.................i wont forget it the whole life......

With all these to happen.......don't you think we were really the happy ones singing and freaking around against the flow of the time..............we developed those "7 is to 5" code providing maximum efficiency for the bullshit semester exams.......hehe.
That electrical paper..............those hardly 2 hrS of study the night before (no grl in this globe will ever believe it...right?)............and then "dekha jo tujhe yaar.........dil me baji guitar"
..........thE single lonely hit those days.

Those early days of second year......not a single class of those two subjects (i even can't recall those names.....god save me) did we attend........those euphoria in the supplies of all kinds of movies and slowly you evolved to be the most wonderful consultant regarding video advices i know till date........remember how we watched those 3 parts of final destination.........and all in a night.........those wiping of irregularly functioning dvds with our soft undergarments and soaps of anykind so that they could run on the laptop media players...........just run...........Gordon Bennet..........i really miss those days when we had lesser number of headphones and the "vlc full bass and treble" effects were used in small corners of darked out rooms and we sat in groups watching wonders and atleast after all those freaky stuffs i never met a person who watched more wonderful movies than we have............

Don't you think they are the real real memories than now when we all managed to have branded headphones from our "bag money go fest" schemes...............hell !! i want everyone to lose their headphones....i swear to god.

heyyy we always teased time u see............watching ipl and prison-break amidst those semesters and then '2 and a half men' and 'how i met your mother'........and some of those episodes of 'shaktiman' in the days of video shortage.......haha
.............we are a new tribe of addicts you see
.....we ain't smokers but we are lookers....we damn can watch anything.
yes i'm craftily pointing towards those 'birds-watching' from our windows as well

heckk......did we really ever study.......i don't think....do u?
and then the came revolution; almost of a sudden....the board games.......oh god it deserves the highest of all fives.....SAY Hi 5.
heyy you always defeated me yOU sidekick....damn it; i wont forget even that......but i learned a lot from you.....the skill of being passionate......i mean those ways you do your stuffs so easily and successfully............those comfort zone of understanding i see in your eyes when i give my li'l no sense making speeches........those attributes of moving ahead in life.....i don't think i could have ever had.....

............but hey this brought the end of the third year.......and the beginning just dissolved while i was recalling.....you see.

In the time to come and flow ever after.................i hope we always tease the clocks as we ever did........afterall you know rules ain't our stuff........we got to piss on them........let our laws of engineering prevail.......let the music go louder and louder..........let the world bring more new movies and Oh God! let every headphone be smashed under some invisible toes
.....be together and we'll watch Dil Chahta Hai over and over again

.....heyy with this final year approaching this mighty ship of time will suck us down the sea.......but i know you didn't forget the words of JACK---"take a deep breath when i say go".......u trust me.....a deep deep breath.........and no matter what....don't leave my hands....and keep your legs fluttering........and trust me we'll make it........trust me
......and yes we will be the kings of the world......over n over again all our life......stretching out our hands against the winds.........bending down watching those beautiful dolphins moving ahead the bow.......

........God i lost my way down the memory lane again!

but you understand it right..

12 o' clock............i forgot the Meridiem

It had to start someday or the other, Ya I was sure of it!! What kept boggling me was what could be the most genuine impulse for this to begin. Was it going to begin with some of those joyous memories gathering out of my days of puerility to post-adolescence at schoolhouse or those from; ofcourse a very few, but those time in life with which all of us desire to stagnate with—those spanned moments of success when I was outstanding a lot of my tribe standing high among jealous and envying from the deepest of their hearts although trying and felicitating……..ohh just leave it.

Some really easy-going people; simple but thoughtful in most truest manner have a view that no Harry can ever be a friend to Sally……

Did a “why” pop ur brain? Then go and watch the movie for the answer…….meanwhile I just have to say that I feel something more general and much more ‘would/could be acceptable’…….amidst the fact that the most accepted are the most debated too.

So as the movie says its untrue for a Harry and a Sally being friends, the sex thing comes in between; I really as I said had a much more generalized thinking to express and that is, “every relation whatever it may be is the worst mistake anyone commits…the SELF thing comes in between”

If you ask me one good reason, I do have one good answer too. Do recall the best ever relation you made; the one person you think you could relate yourself among the best of the best of your relations. Take a pause……..THINK….recall.

I know you do have one…….someone. I know you have an answer. I know you have someone you think you are a relative to and you will tell me that’s not a mistake. ISN’T IT?

A lot of people went through your mind just now……the best of all best!! And in a hurry you successfully compared one against another….and ended over someone whom you did feel was that someone you could bring before me laughing at me telling; “you were not right.”

But what I succeeded in doing now is that you already realised that a lot of relations you just walked over comparing the advantages of your BESTS with shortcomings of the BETTERS; were in one way or the other; mistakes you did make.

That’s what I’m up with. In my short or long whatever run it may be; I did gain from my vicinity that we are all common under a single act; “We choose the best option……be it a thing or a being……….what matters is the SELF, which should win”

I did feel sometimes why thoughts emerged from within me, why did I speak to myself all those time I really needed someone to speak, all those times I compared my relations……..ohh ohh! I mean options.

Among some of those times I decided to note down these talks; but then I feared every time that if I did so I may probably lose the single true person I could talk flawlessly. The things do have a chance to bend from a zone of “no reason” to a desired aim, to be achieved; and I may come to an end “talking to the real me” and gradually compel that hidden, safe and true myself to talk to me whenever I wanted rather than letting him talk whatever he wished to.

So I made a wish; Yes, not a decision but a wish that, “May this all begin without a real cause”, as I too believe that every cause has a definite effect just as every past determines a future.

Amongst all these confusions, I sometimes thought I would start writing some or the other of these themes but if I did so it was again beginning with a cause when suddenly I felt it began that day when I unopened a book where I read stuffs which never saw an end although they seemed to end in words.

The underpage of the same book read, “I can’t speak but my voice resonates in every sip!”

………….So, I guess I have a desire to be that voice.

The moment I say this, I find myself screwed in my own captivity deviating to a purpose as I carefully notice a desire which I always fear but what I am successful still with is; I’m still letting the myself speak whenever he decides.

……………Optimistic? Yes I’m.

but what was this I was writing all this time…………What the hell was it?????

topsy-turvyness....................

is it that we enjoy less what's good to us or regret more for what didn't happen so well?

It might not......END.

We meet folks, forget them.

We make relations, they end.
Someone newfangled, fascinates;
but then comes out, the same..
A lot of those we find, cheering;
and so often, they fade.
Some sincere hardships
but somehow in vain.
Feelings....yes they were true
ended......they didn't have to
unseen....uncared
ruined by them
They were actually meant.

Amongst everything happening this way...

WE..
we rise again...
A bit more sturdy....
A thought more strong..
Reconciled..
A feather more added..
experienced......they say.

And then..
Again we meet
Again we make
Again we find..feel for them
Again we work hard..

Just a hope that..
this time....maybe
IT MIGHT NOT END.

drawn a blank

there be a difference

between
forgotten and "yet to forget"
..........and the differnce is..........
the latter is actually an optimistic way
to describe "cannot be forgotten"
...and the bitter truth is....
tis optimism is
an extremely complicated form of hypocrisy
which has prevailed long
but
..was never right..

.........a brother's testimony

from the days i have opened my eyes to this world,i have found you around me.
you were always there,whether it was studying under the same lantern in those days of 90s or whether it was playing cricket on our rooftop;collecting
feathers for my nature album for the summer project,or learning algebra and trigonometry from dadu(when i was not even admitted to school);plucking
flowers from the khemka villa or collecting green mangoes from the mango garden on the way to school, whether it was fighting brutally for small
scraps(and later on getting spanked by our parents)or indulging me in every mischievous activities we did. . .you have always been the driving force of my
life.


there are infinite instances when i got you into trouble;do you remember the incident in 3rd standard when i had confessed to thomaskutty sir that i had
written in your handwriting copy instead of you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .nostalgic na,very nostalgic!!!


you were much more ambitious and creative than i ever was,and adamant as well.
our very own pc at home was a result of that.
you were very different from me,maybe thats why we complement each other in a perfect manner.


now that we are at different places realizing our goals........i wish you all the best in your life.
i hope that the relationship between us doesnt change despite of whatever we become in future.
remember that you come first for me amongst everything else!!!so dont dare to give my place to anyone else. . . . . . .thats it!

Sometimes for no Reason.....

"Nature never allows sharp turns...” was the voice from the prof; which struck my ears
and dragged me out of my own urbane wonderland where I deliberately reside tired of the
monotony which the real world provides.

Almost in the post-awakened situation, I actually did undergo a sharp turn you see, "from
steadiness of peace to extreme shrillness of the gossips all around in the vicinity" ; gossips those arising from queries of missed out words of the prof's litany, gossips those from last night Prison-break episode and gossips of the assassinations done in the weekend counter-strike session of the most sophisticated and ahead of time weapons.
Oh yes! There were some intellectual discussions too, let me not call them gossips as
the real world acclaims these talks vicariously........and they were the talks from the
early morning newspaper headlines mostly converged to the new superhero, the world was about to accept , "the US president-elect Barack Obama".

The moment I had come out of my world, something was troubling me. I wasn’t pretty sure if the prof-eyes were actually targeting me and I had no cue how to deviate his attention from mine when ultimately I realised that he had caught hold of Vastav, who was endlessly scribbling something in his notebook. The interesting thing was that he was seated immediate ahead of me.

Out of curiosity, rather sarcasm; all of a sudden, upsetting once again the law of nature concerning sharp turns, the class followed a dead silence ending up all intellectual and non-intellectual talks and then a sharp undivided attention was focused on a small area intensifying the situation, and emphasizing the saying that “one is a defaulter only when caught”

The scene to follow was
prof.: so young man, what are you up with? I am sure you aren’t here. Right??
Vastav: sir, actually I was.
prof.: Then probably you would be up with the answer to the question we just ended with, why don't you show me your notebook.

And off course his notebook had no real answers but some very different and amazing combination of alphabets and numbers written together in some very unusual manner.

prof.: where's your calculator?
Vastav: I don’t have one sir, I actually don’t use one.
prof.: So, how are u gonna write the exact answer, I guess you will end up in trigonometric notation possibly losing some marks simply..
Vastav : No sir, give me a minute. The answer is.....

and then what followed was silence within the pre-existing silence, even the hammer strokes from the construction site atleast a few hundred meters could be heard. Alas the answer was correct upto a few digits even after the decimal......
No one was at ease. It was not something regular.
Incidences like this from the real world have kept happening and have been liked as stories but never been allowed being general as what we tend to follow are rules.
The rule "nature never allows sharp turns..".
The question is, "IS IT??"
And the answer is "nature allows all sort of turns actually, but we don’t like sharp turns."
Actually the process of randomness affects our comfortable pre-occupied and established civilized thinking.

Whole night I was boggled with thoughts............afterall what's the reason a badly disturbed person on his way back gets so joyed watching kids at games of twilight.
A simple process of sunrise being poetically made a whole new package by every different poet, the waves breaking at the shore, gushing and noisy but whose noise satiates peace and rest in the soul. The existence of most truthful smiles on the
neediest faces.
The extreme love found in someone, you can’t sometimes define within relations.......SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON.....that's actually the
nature what we keep underestimating; trying to grab it within our liked laws stealthily.

On the other hand the truth actually galores with a huge amount of entropy. Appearing arbitrary to some cannot be ended unrecognised all the time.
The nation deserves betters which refrain travelling the travelled paths, agents of difference, alterers of obsessions.
Randomness of chaotic brains shouldn’t die out in the monotonous run, rather be
carefully observed and sieved.

Early in the morning the other day.........I was still thinking "why do people have to be different from others all the time? Why laws of some have to be followed by all? Why luck has to be a thing? Why the hell we have a word destiny?

God the hell inside me was inflaming at its worst and i really could take no more.......Why? why? why?...a bang on the desk.....and the stuffs scattered in every possible way all around.

Tranquility prevailed.......but i was in the eyes of vicinity

Honestly speaking; if someone asks me what your hobbies are, I know what a tough time we'll have when I begin explicating the sentence, "to unearth my undulating elegant world where the nature actually allows anything...."